My mom was watching Dancing with the Stars and tonight was most memorable year, I immediately wondered what’s my most memorable year. I took me a while, but I came to the conclusion it was the year 2008.
So much happen that year that completely transformed into the person I am today. It was in 2008 that I rally learned about love and about self-love. I learned about myself and about people. I got bullied, not like a little bit of picking on me but like relentlessly tortured. I was 12, I hated everything that I was. Through this, I began binge eating, cutting and I ended up developing depression and anxiety. Things got really bad before they ever got better. Despite believing that it never could happen, things got better. I got better.
I don’t know what my life would look like if I hadn’t experienced this year. It completely shaped me into the person that I am today. I grew up a lot that year. This year completely molded me, it made me outspoken, passionate, strong, and resilient. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t have anxiety and without that I wouldn’t have gone into Psychology. The very fabric of who I am wouldn’t exist and that’s an odd idea to me.
So as much as I hated this part of my life, if you gave me the chance, I wouldn’t change it. I love who I am, every flaw, quirk, imperfect facet of my being helps shape me into who I am and I wouldn’t change that for the world. I don’t hate this year, I don’t hate her. I could, and a lot of people wouldn’t blame me if I did. But instead I choose to be grateful. Grateful I made it through. Grateful I found my passion. Grateful I am changed. Grateful that I can tell my story.
What I want to say is: I won. Not because I wasn’t broken, but because despite being torn down I found a way to choose joy.