People say prom is something you don’t want to miss. I promised a friend I’d go at least once. So I got my dress, shoes, date, group, and tickets. I was finally beginning to get excited about prom, I even got a count down. I asked the guy on Day 90. He said yes. I felt like I had everything set. I don’t like surprises, at all. I like being planned, knowing where I am going, what am I doing, and why I am doing it. It was Day 5, I bought the ticket that morning because it was the first day on sale and they were planning on selling out. I told him about the tickets and he was like “cool” and so when my friend comes to me and say “he needs to talk to you” I was really confused. BOOM. There it was. I felt upset, mad, and sad. He said he’d pay for the ticket but that’s not the point. I know he says it’s cuz of family, but that doesn’t keep the thoughts of not being good enough away or being stupid away. I wish I would’ve known earlier, I wish he would’ve said “no” from the get go. This is probably one of the hardest pains (behind something like death, of course) a teenage girl feels. Maybe that sounds like exaggeration and maybe in 10 years I’ll find this silly. But I was really looking forward to this. This was going to be the one night that I felt beautiful. Maybe I am way too cliché. I know I am an overly cliché person, but it’s FREAKIN’ PROM. You don’t just bail 5 days before. Never do that to someone. never. It’s really sucky. People try to cheer you up, but you don’t want to be happy. You want to be mad. You want to be sad. You have reason to be. Other people just don’t know what to say. Just go solo, they say. But that’s not the same. That’s not what you planned. This is something you see on TV, but never think it actually happened. Yet it happen to you and you just have to figure out what the heck you’re going to do to pick yourself up. You’re going back and forth between crying and not. It’s hard to stop.
Usually this blog is a way to write to myself on how to cheer up but I can’t even seem to find a bright side to this. I mean I want one I wish there was but I can’t seem to even I think of anything. People try to force you to go prom, that it’s something so important and so spectacular but you just want a big bucket of ice cream and give up.
hoping for the best,