Pretty if only you lost 15 pounds.

Since I was a kid, I have dreaded going to doctor. Why? Because I have been morbidly obese and borderline type 2 diabetic since I was about 12 years old. I’ve had doctor suggest to me every solution in the book, Jenny Craig, lap band surgery, Weight Watcher, nutritionists, gastric bypass surgery, high protein supplement diets. But those were never anything I wanted to try or do.

Time and time again, I would points where I would say  “I’m not going let myself get bigger than size 16,” which would turn into “I won’t let myself get above 275,” which evolved into “I’m not going let myself get bigger than size 18,” which became “I won’t let myself get above 300.” Eventually, I was 320 and busting out of my size 20 jeans (and on the verge of being a XXL shirt-wise.)

People would tell me  “you’d look so beautiful if you would just lost 15 pounds,”  that guys would be all over me. But that never convinced me to lose the weight.  I didn’t want to loose the weight for anyone else. I wanted to do it for me. I know my weight has be such an emotional burden for my parents, but even then I didn’t want to do it for them.

But one day it clicked. One Sunday at church, I was talking to a lady telling her how she looked like she’d had lost a bunch of weight. She said “high protein, low carbs.” Which my dad had already lost 50 pounds doing. So that Monday I decided, why the heck not!?  I didn’t drop all the carbs and sugars, immediately. But I did cut them out a lot! I was in this huge fry phase, so the first day I had fries with one meal, then the next day half, then eventually I cut them all out entirely. There’s some things that have sugars like carrots and tomatoes that I haven’t really cut out… and there’s times when I have eaten cake or noodles. But I decided that it is more important to just try my best and make sure what carbs and sugars I eat are in moderation, than to obsess or get upset over if I eat good carbs and bad carbs.

So today, this is me announcing to you the people of the internet, I have officially lost 30 pounds and starting to fit into a large shirt, size 16 pants.  No, I don’t have boys flocking me and I still feel as beautiful as I was when I was 320. But what I am is a whole heaping pile of proud.

Losing weight is easy, but only if it is something that you really want. You have to be your biggest motivator. Now, don’t get me wrong, those external cheerleaders in your life are awesome and valuable. But ultimately, it’s a you thing.

If you are in the place that I was, here’s my tips:

  1. ONLY do it, if you are doing it for you.
    • No matter how much as anyone pushes you, you won’t have success unless you want to do it.
  2. Set both big goals and little goals, and (healthy) rewards for each of them.  Here’s some examples of mine:
    • My first small goal was  to get under 300, I rewarded myself with a bun-less burger.
    • My second small goal was losing 30 pounds, and for that I bought myself a new dress!
    • My first big goal is getting to a size 16, I will reward myself with a new wardrobe!
    • My second big goal is getting to 250 pounds, and I will go to an amusement park and I WILL be able to fit into all the rides!
  3. Focus on what you can eat, not what you can’t
    • When I wanted to get ice cream, I’d eat a sugar free popsicle.. No it’s not the same but it does the job of stopping the craving.
    • When I want fries, I’ll make some bacon because I can eat as much bacon as I want to!
  4. Avoid places you know you can’t resist temptation
    • I haven’t been to my favorite snowcone place in a whole month because I know I don’t have the will power to get a sugar free one instead a normal one.
  5. Stick to it as much as humanly possible.
    • this diet will only work as well as you do!

 

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