When I mention my desire to adopt a child, often people ask me “why?” Why would a girl who is 19 years old have such a strong desire to adopt when there is no apparent reason that would make her unable to conceive, carry, and birth a child of her own womb? Why would I want to put myself through the struggles of adoption?
I’m not afraid of what will happen because I chose to adopt, I am afraid of what will happen if I chose not to.
Here are some fast facts about adoption and foster care:
- Approximately 2.5% of all U.S. children are adopted.
- According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, in 2013, more than 23,000 young people aged out of foster care without permanent families.
- Research has shown that these children who leave foster care without being linked to forever families have a higher likelihood to experience homelessness, unemployment and incarceration as adults.
These kids are not looking for much, they don’t want the newest and greatest toy. They just want stability and love. Don’t get me wrong, I want to have bio kids, but I want to adopt too.
I’m aware of the struggles of adopting. I’ve talked to kids who were adopted, I’ve talked to parents who have adopted. I know that it won’t be easy. I know it might be a long and grueling process. I know there will be days I wonder if I’m cut out for the job. But this is what I want. I want to get a child, I want them to know I chose them. I didn’t get them because I didn’t have any other choice. (Author’s note: I’m not saying that adopting because you can’t conceive is bad.) I just want my baby to know that I picked them, I wanted them and they are immensely loved by me.
People tell me “well you never know what you’re going to get when you adopt.” That’s true, I don’t know if my kid will have dyslexia, ADHD, SIDS, or even cancer. But I won’t know if my kid will have any of those even if it’s my own biological child. I feel like God will prepare me for whatever child I am meant for.
If I only have them for one day or all the days of my life, I promise I’ll give them all the love I can. I promise I will take care of them the best I can. I will make sure they know they are some of the greatest people that I’ll ever get to know.
When all the other girls were dreaming of their weddings, their husbands, the flowers, the cake, the dress. I was dreaming of something different. I was dreaming of the day I’d adopt the most lovely little soul I’d ever lay my eyes on. It’s something I’ve wanted to do since I was in 4th grade. I know that life is so uncertain, and so many things may change from now to then. But the one thing in my life that I feel absolutely certain that I am meant to do one thing, adopt a kid. Every plan I have for my future could all be thrown out the window, but this is the one I know I am meant to do. I am called to adopt a kid, with whatever they come with, to love them with all I have.
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